Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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