Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
