summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
