just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
