The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
