the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The ass gains better be worth it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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