I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
