Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
