I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
