I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
