I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
