I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
