I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
