He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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