i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
worst night to have a conscience
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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