Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
