I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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