what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
