i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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