i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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