I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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