I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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