8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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