Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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