he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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