I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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