why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
organizing the empties. That sober.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
