Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
