I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
