So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
