8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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