Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
