I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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