guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
