This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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