found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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