I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
