Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
