i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
