I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
