Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
