Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
40s are totally the cure
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
