everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
