if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
