We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
