are you still at the devil's house?
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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