I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
