Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Girls should come with a carfax report
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
