i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
