I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
