Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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