fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You were trust falling into bushes
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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