The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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