A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
